Archive | February, 2012

Batteries for my BOB

29 Feb

I bought a pack of batteries for $6.00 and left it at a friends. UGH!!! I planned on an eventful evening with my waterproof, and handheld friend. Seems I willl be stuck by the constraints of my outlet powered BOB… 

Such is life

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The Re-Education of Dana

9 Feb

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I started this email correspondence course on web page design. It focuses on HTML 4.01. I am decided to buckle down and get serious about studying. The course is through about.com. I have a lot of refresher things I need to work on so I am going back and getting some understanding on those things as well. I think if I can start practicing the codes in Microsoft Word, I should be able to have something up and running within a month or so. I want to be able to fully build a site from scratch. 

 

I feel like I’m in high school again trying to memorize all of the different HTML tags. I am tempted to make flash cards. Anything that move the process of learning everything along faster. 

 

The idea of solely working a home, takes a lot of getting used to. Besides becoming somewhat of a recluse, I seldom go out and spend a great deal of time with my daughter. It is immensely rewarding to be able to see my daughter day to day. The limited human interaction I have been getting was just an inadvertent consequence of my job switch. I am scared, but not in the traditional sense. I am on the verge of something that I can’t quite put my finger on. I am close to finding my niche.

3 Feb

I don’t care what anyone says, French Montana included. He talking about not signing over his publishing but I still feel like if Diddy is affiliated with you he will get something off in the backend. I think that guys like Diddy can still afford to throw between 500k to 1 million on a guy they know will have a least 2 platinum albums in him/her. I don’t believe French has even 1 more album left him. I think he will still be decent with the mixtapes but he will never release a record. So he won’t make in money in publishing. If anything he will make most of his money doing shows and making club appearances. Just being honest.. Congrats though. 😉

What NOT to Look For in a Man

3 Feb

Single life is bittersweet at this age. I am enjoying getting to know me better but the companionship I got accustomed to is hard to not reminisce on. My ex wasn’t a lousy boyfriend but he and I were at different places in our lives. I cant expect a man with no real obligations to want to buckle down. I’ll be honest, as much as I love my daughter I also miss the freedom that I once had. I don’t regret her but I can also empathize with teen moms who don’t immediately embrace motherhood. It is not innate no matter what people lead you to believe. 

Which brings to this point, I was busy holding on to him for a couple of pathetic reasons.

1. He “accepted” my daughter.

I thought he did, at least. Kicking it a bit and asking about her really doesn’t constitute an interest in my little one. I should’ve been more persistent in him being a part of her life if I was in it for the long term but that was my fault. If I ever decide in the future to get serious with someone, I am establishing that first. As a matter of fact, a turn on isn’t you picking me up something from the mall but taking the time to pick up a Disney DVD for my little girl.

2. He was “sincere”.

I fell for him initially because he didn’t hold back his feelings. When things, got rocked that also became the reason I resented him. I couldn’t stand him always having strong opinion. It was like being in officials debates constantly. He would always win and I would never make any sense.

3. He loved to “communicate”

Years and years of things not working out, I have developed a very repressed, passive and nonchalant attitude. I don’t think that was ever really a concern until he was pressing me to express myself more. What’s unfortunate is you get so repressed eventually you don’t have an opinion at all. What I can tell you and never had a problem telling him was that I was and still am in love with him and that if he would’ve compromised a bit we could’ve been something special.

 

Writing this is really making me see that I was on the Titanic.