What NOT to Look For in a Man

3 Feb

Single life is bittersweet at this age. I am enjoying getting to know me better but the companionship I got accustomed to is hard to not reminisce on. My ex wasn’t a lousy boyfriend but he and I were at different places in our lives. I cant expect a man with no real obligations to want to buckle down. I’ll be honest, as much as I love my daughter I also miss the freedom that I once had. I don’t regret her but I can also empathize with teen moms who don’t immediately embrace motherhood. It is not innate no matter what people lead you to believe. 

Which brings to this point, I was busy holding on to him for a couple of pathetic reasons.

1. He “accepted” my daughter.

I thought he did, at least. Kicking it a bit and asking about her really doesn’t constitute an interest in my little one. I should’ve been more persistent in him being a part of her life if I was in it for the long term but that was my fault. If I ever decide in the future to get serious with someone, I am establishing that first. As a matter of fact, a turn on isn’t you picking me up something from the mall but taking the time to pick up a Disney DVD for my little girl.

2. He was “sincere”.

I fell for him initially because he didn’t hold back his feelings. When things, got rocked that also became the reason I resented him. I couldn’t stand him always having strong opinion. It was like being in officials debates constantly. He would always win and I would never make any sense.

3. He loved to “communicate”

Years and years of things not working out, I have developed a very repressed, passive and nonchalant attitude. I don’t think that was ever really a concern until he was pressing me to express myself more. What’s unfortunate is you get so repressed eventually you don’t have an opinion at all. What I can tell you and never had a problem telling him was that I was and still am in love with him and that if he would’ve compromised a bit we could’ve been something special.


Writing this is really making me see that I was on the Titanic. 


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