8 Mar

Went to court today and got a year of probation. UGH! which inadvertantly has me stuck learning to be sober. I spent the last couple of months kind of rebuilding and figuring out how to manage being in business for myself. Needless to say things are going to be difficult but I am for a lifestyle change. Having to live sober will get me back on track to being a healthier individual. I think I am pretty ready for the challenge considering all things. Today will be my last day of sin, after all I have several bottles of wine, and a 4Loko lurking around. The smart thing would be to just pour them down the drain but somewhere in my weak mind I would hate to see about $27 dollars worth of booze be thrown away. I thought to give it to someone but I am a tad selfish. To make matters worse there is an unopened bottle of peach vodka still sitting in the freezer. I am really not sure what to do with it considering that I can’t have that down and out of my system in time for my first meeting with my probation officer.


I really feel like I am in this alone. The major reason I turned to alcohol was because of how isolated I feel from real life and from the outside world. I haven’t met anyone else like myself to bond with. All my current friendships are based on all the wrong pretensions. That left we with the worst set of circumstances. Namely, no real friends to tell me to stop all my friends that I went out with saw me night after night drinking, and driving home. I had no social barometer to tell me I was bound to get myself in trouble or taking the boozing too far.


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